Wednesday, December 30, 2009

News At A Glance For 12/30/09

Head The Ice Crusher

- Action Unlimited Anthracite Champion "Cannon" Mike Collis was in action over the Christmas break for the first time since his rib injury November 20th. As you remember, Collis was assaulted by The Westies following his match in the semi-final round of the Anthracite Championship Tournament, and competed in the finals against Bruno DeMaio with a severe rib injury. Wrestling his first match since his Championship victory a few weeks back, "The Cannon" looked remarkably well. His ribs, while still bandaged, had no real effect on the outcome, and "The Champ" is confident that he will be 100% by January 10th.

- While his partner busies himself challenging non-wrestlers in the mainstream media, Head The Ice Crusher has been diligently preparing for his January 10 Tag Team Championship opportunity. Rumor has it that Rachel Townsend has been personally overseeing his training, guaranteeing that "The Crusher" has been hard at work in the gym and on the mat...adding more devastating manuevers to his repoitoire. Will January 10 be the day that the unpinned rookie monster is finally put in check, or will he and his new manager be able to pull their controversial partner's head (no pun intended) out of the clouds long enough to win Anthracite Gold? All these questions will be answered January 10th at Wright Township Fire.

- We need to point out an innacuracy that has come to our attention. In several past entries, we have referred to AJ Evers as the Number 1 contender to the Action Unlimited Anthracite Championship. To correct this, we will state clearly that while AJ Evers will recieve a title shot on January 10, Bruno DeMaio is the recognized number 1 contender. Evers was offered the match when DeMaio was not medically cleared in time to compete. Bruno does have a title match due him, and we can all safely assume he will pursue it sooner than later. We apologize for any confusion.

- We've recieved a number of strange e-mails this week.

The first unusual piece of email we recieved was from a Mr. Reggie Washington-Carver, proprietor of the local "Sunshine Car Wash Company" located just down the road from Wilkes-Barre. Mr. Washington-Carver, apparantly, has been hot on the trails of one Leroy "Cadillac" Stanks, a highly dubious individual who made his debut at the November 20th showcase. According to Washington-Carver, Cadillac failed to, and this is a direct quote, "obtain from me permissive permission to attend any jail or prison functions, whether mandatory or otherwise." and that Stanks "owes (Washington-Carver) time on the brushes."

Mr. Washington-Carver then took the time to remind us that automobiles do not, in fact, wash themselves. He further stated that Cadillac is already scheduled to work the 3-11 shift at "Sunshine" that day, although our gut tells us that Leroy "Cadillac" Stanks will definitely be in attendance and in action come January 10.

The second email wasn't any less strange.

Addressed to "Bruno DeMaio c/o Action Unlimited Anthracite Wrestling", the message ran several screens of odd symbols and backwards letters presented in a seemingly random pattern. At the very bottom of the screen read a small message, re-posted below.

"Do you remember, Bruno? Has your mirror learned to hide those scars from you? Do you remember your blood pouring freely from you? The time is close, Bruno. He is coming back, Bruno. He is coming for your blood."

It was signed in Japanese font. When translated, it reads "Doshu Sappo". Our research has turned up a Doshu Sappo who competed in the Pennsylvania Underground back in the early 00's. Efforts to respond to this email were unanswered.

Keep checking back often as we give you all the news we soon as we get it!

Action Unlimited

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